The Benefits of Collaborative Divorce

Reasons to Choose Collaborative Divorce

A sizable percentage of marriages end in divorce. During the process, most people go through conflicts when dividing property and determining parenting arrangements. With a collaborative divorce, you can avoid such hassles and benefit in several ways.

The Spouses Drive the Collaborative Process

Instead of having a judge preside over the divorce, the couples are in charge of the collaborative approach. You have the power to shape the outcome of your divorce even in ways that the law may not address. Both of you will hold a private meeting with your respective lawyer to discuss what you want from the divorce.

You continually weigh your options, and the attorney will guide you in reaching a win-win settlement. At the end of the process, the decision depends entirely on the divorcing couple. In the collaborative approach, mediation is the conflict resolution method, and the process aims at addressing the couples’:

• Interests
• Needs
• Goals

This Option Reduces Legal Costs

Divorce, especially when the couples can’t agree, is very expensive. The parties will pay a lot of money when they keep fighting. In some situations, the court process can take up to six months. Collaborative divorce is cheaper compared to going to court. If you quickly reach an agreement after a few sessions, you will avoid litigation costs. This option encourages a free flow of information, which speeds up the settlement, keeping the price lower.

The Approach Minimizes Stress

Divorce is one of the most stressful emotional experiences that people go through in life. This is because it represents the loss of:

• A relationship
• Commitments
• Shared dreams

At such a point, you are more susceptible to depression or post-traumatic stress disorder. When you opt for the collaborative divorce process, you will experience less emotional exhaustion. This process allows couples to participate in the negotiations as friends, which reduces conflicts.

Your divorce lawyer will facilitate the meetings until you reach a satisfying outcome to which you and your estranged spouse agree. This means a more equitable split of finances, which minimizes stress levels. During a collaborative divorce, you will even work with other professionals to guide you through the process.

You will receive support from legal, financial and mental health professionals. Together, the team will work with you through the decision-making process to help you address interpersonal dynamics and create better outcomes.

Collaborative Process Lets You Divorce Privately

Once you go to court and file for divorce, everything becomes public. The entire process, including the preparation of financial affidavits and the petition, takes place publicly. Such information can land in the wrong hands. Rather than meeting in court, the collaborative process allows couples to hold private discussions concerning the divorce. This way, you won’t reveal intimate details of your marriage life to public records.

The Process Reinforces Concept of Co-Parenting

If your relationship ends badly during the divorce, raising your kids together may become very difficult. Remember that you still need to make some significant decisions concerning your children’s life together even after separating. Collaborative divorce encourages better communication between ex-spouses, which translates to better co-parenting.

Both parties will become used to sitting down to discuss issues and work things out. This is healthier for your children because you will still be able to come together as parents and raise your kids in the best possible way even after divorce.

It’s Highly Effective When Properly Executed

The main aim of collaborative divorce is to enable couples to come up with viable solutions for their parenting, financial and other pertinent issues with the help of a professional. When you file for divorce in a court, the judge’s decision to determine the amount of support awarded to each person highly depends on:

• Work history
• Age
• Earning capacity
• Both parties’ health status

Sometimes, the ruling may not be satisfactory for everyone. A collaborative divorce strives to bring about the settlement in a manner that addresses the needs of both parties. There won’t be a winner or a loser but a settlement that works for all. You address issues from a problem-solving perspective. This helps avoid the shouting battles in court that only exacerbate pain and heartache. Collaborative divorce is also a transparent process in which decisions are made with the knowledge and participation of both parties.

You Will Have Healthier Relationships After the Divorce

High-conflict divorce proceedings don’t foster feelings of friendship afterward. After the ruling, some people won’t want to see their partners ever again. However, collaborative divorce enables the parties to end their marriage but still retain functional relationships. The ex-spouses will formulate agreements that cater to mutual goals rather than dwelling on past arguments.

Both partners will develop better problem-solving abilities, so you are in a position to get along even when there are disagreements. Since you create the divorce agreement together, it reduces the possibility of going back to court in the future. People are more likely to abide by the agreement made if they participate in the negotiations wholly. As a result, you will end your marriage and transition to a new life civilly and respectfully. Some exes are even able to maintain business relationships after divorce.

This Process Protects Children

Divorce creates some impacts on children’s mental health. After separation, the children lose daily physical contact with one parent. It also affects the relationship between the children and the custodial parent. Other stressors involved in the divorce process include:

• Moving to a new home
• Changing school
• Financial hardships

As a result, a child can become more emotionally sensitive and constantly struggle with anger, confusion and anxiety. Kids may lose interest in social activities and be unable to focus on their academic work.

The collaborative divorce process protects the children from the damaging effects of a highly contentious split. You have a chance to interact with a child specialist who will guide you on how to help your children through the process. This will lead to less stress and frustration for the kids, and they are likely to have better post-divorce lives.

It Saves You From the Court’s Formalities

Collaborative divorce gives couples an alternative to the traditional courtroom process. The parties sign a contract that they are willing to settle their differences out of court. You will have a flexible meeting time for this option, unlike court hearings, which don’t consider personal schedules.

The informal setting creates a suitable environment for the parties to air out complex issues confidently. The information exchange process is sincere, relaxed and open. You will never have to agree on something that you feel isn’t right. Instead, you can freely share your thoughts and feelings, and the lawyers will help create a customizable solution that fits the circumstances. One caveat, however, is that should you fail to come to an accord and instead proceed to litigation, the attorneys must withdraw, and you will have to find new legal representation.

Bottom Line

Although divorce is a messy process, a collaborative approach facilitates amicable negotiations. You have a chance to develop solutions that work best for both of you and the children rather than have a judge make such vital decisions on your behalf. A successful collaborative divorce will allow the parties to move on swiftly with their lives.

If you feel that collaborative divorce is right for you, reach out to us at the Law Offices of Kelly Berton Rocco. Call our New Jersey office in Hackensack at (201) 343-0078 to schedule a consultation.